THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
There are two kinds of pedestrians- the quick and the dead.
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Have you ever thought of life as a terminal disease?
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Always get in the last word: Apologize.
Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Have you noticed since everyone has a Camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Advice from a Old Tennessee Mountain Man
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumblebee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel or unkind word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak
kindly. Leave the rest up to God.